You know what they say...

• IF YOU'RE TOO OPEN MINDED, YOUR BRAINS WILL FALL OUT.
• AGE IS A VERY HIGH PRICE TO PAY FOR MATURITY.
• ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
• IF YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO EVILS, PICK THE ONE YOU'VE NEVER TRIED BEFORE.
• MY IDEA OF HOUSEWORK IS TO SWEEP THE ROOM WITH A GLANCE.
• IF YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PASSPORT PICTURE, YOU PROBABLY NEED THE TRIP.
• BILLS TRAVEL THROUGH THE MAIL AT TWICE THE SPEED OF CHEQUES.
• A CONSCIENCE IS WHAT HURTS WHEN ALL YOUR OTHER PARTS FEEL GOOD.
• A BALANCED DIET IS A COOKIE IN EACH HAND.
• MIDDLE AGE IS WHEN BROADNESS OF THE MIND AND NARROWNESS OF THE WAIST CHANGE PLACES.
• JUNK IS SOMETHING YOU'VE KEPT FOR YEARS AND THROW AWAY THREE WEEKS BEFORE YOU NEED IT.
• THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE IMBECILE THAN YOU COUNTED ON.
• EXPERIENCE IS A WONDERFUL THING. IT ENABLES YOU TO RECOGNIZE A MISTAKE WHEN YOU MAKE IT AGAIN.
• THOU SHALT NOT WEIGH MORE THAN THY REFRIGERATOR.
• SOMEONE WHO THINKS LOGICALLY PROVIDES A NICE CONTRAST TO THE REAL WORLD.