- 1. Never compromise your integrity for anyone or anything.
2. Don't try to be all things to all people. Learn to say no politely and pleasantly , but immediately and firmly.
3. Never wait for something to happen; make it happen! Do it now!
4. Do not be overwhelmed by the tasks before you. Don't try to do everything; just do something.
5. To accomplish your objective, first begin. Secondly, concentrate exclusively on the project at hand. Third, don't stop.
6. Let circumstances dictate your priorities; let priorities determine your actions.
7. Focus your efforts on the root of the problem. Don't expend energy on peripheral issues that are not crucial to producing results.
8. For maximum effectiveness, do only what you do best and let others do the rest.
9. Concentrate on long-term, permanent solutions rather than stop gap measures.
10. Don't waste time telling people what you are doing or what you are going to do. Results have a way of informing the world.
11. Don't make promises you can't keep; once made, keep them.
12. Don't be tempted to take the easy way out. Have the self-discipline to do the right thing rather than the instinctive thing.
13. Don't become lax; play every point as though it were matching point.
14. You are not through until you have dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's.
15. Avoid premature celebrations. You are not through till the check has cleared the bank.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Have you ever wondered what they really meant at your job appraisal? Here's an a - z list of common performance appraisal terms and their meaning:-
- Active socially: Drinks heavily.
- Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
- Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
- Average: Not too bright.
- Character above reproach: One step ahead of the law.
- Competent: Is able to get work done if supervisor helps.
- Conscientious and careful: Scared.
- Consults with superiors often: A pain in the butt.
- Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
- Deserves promotion: Create new title to make him or her feel appreciated.
- Enjoys job: Needs more to do.
- Exceptionally well qualified: Has committed no major blunders to date.
- Expresses self well: Can string two sentences together.
- Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.
- Happy: Paid too much.
- Hard worker: Does it the hard way.
- Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.
- Is unusually loyal: no one else wants them.
- Judgment is usually sound: Lucky.
- Keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
- Keen sense of humour: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
- Maintains professional attitude: A snob.
- Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.
- Not a desk person: Did not go to college.
- Of great value to the organisation: Turns in work on time.
- Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
- Slightly below average: Stupid.
- Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life.
- Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.
- Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep his mouth shut.
- Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors.
- Takes pride in work: Conceited.
- Uses resources well: Delegates everything.
- Uses time effectively: Clock watcher.
- Very creative: Keeps finding reasons to do anything except original work.
- Will go far: Relative of management.
- Zealous attitude: Opinionated
- A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
- She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but he broke it off.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- Every calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium-at-large.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- When you've seen one shopping center you've seen the mall.
- Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
- When an actress saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
- Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
- "There is a lot of that going around." - That's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this.
- "Well, what have we here..?" - He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue.
- "Let me check your medical history." - I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.
- "We have some good news and some bad news." - The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it.
- "Let's see how it develops." - Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured.
- "Let me schedule you for some tests." - I have a 40% interest in the lab.
- "I'd like to have my associate look at you." - He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle.
- "I'd like to prescribe a new drug." - I'm writing a paper and would like to use you as a guinea pig.
- "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call." - I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.
- "This may hurt a little." - Last week two patients bit off their tongues.
- "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we..?" - I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?
- "This should fix you up." - The drug company slipped me a fiver to prescribe this stuff.
- "Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?" - You're crazier than an box of frogs. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split fees with me...
- "If those symptoms persist, call for an appointment." - I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Thanks goodness I'm off next week.
And don't forget that doctors can make mistakes too!
- IF YOU'RE TOO OPEN MINDED, YOUR BRAINS WILL FALL OUT.
- AGE IS A VERY HIGH PRICE TO PAY FOR MATURITY.
- ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
- IF YOU MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN TWO EVILS, PICK THE ONE YOU'VE NEVER TRIED BEFORE.
- MY IDEA OF HOUSEWORK IS TO SWEEP THE ROOM WITH A GLANCE.
- IF YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR PASSPORT PICTURE, YOU PROBABLY NEED THE TRIP.
- BILLS TRAVEL THROUGH THE MAIL AT TWICE THE SPEED OF CHEQUES.
- A CONSCIENCE IS WHAT HURTS WHEN ALL YOUR OTHER PARTS FEEL GOOD.
- A BALANCED DIET IS A COOKIE IN EACH HAND.
- MIDDLE AGE IS WHEN BROADNESS OF THE MIND AND NARROWNESS OF THE WAIST CHANGE PLACES.
- JUNK IS SOMETHING YOU'VE KEPT FOR YEARS AND THROW AWAY THREE WEEKS BEFORE YOU NEED IT.
- THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE IMBECILE THAN YOU COUNTED ON.
- EXPERIENCE IS A WONDERFUL THING. IT ENABLES YOU TO RECOGNIZE A MISTAKE WHEN YOU MAKE IT AGAIN.
- THOU SHALT NOT WEIGH MORE THAN THY REFRIGERATOR.
- SOMEONE WHO THINKS LOGICALLY PROVIDES A NICE CONTRAST TO THE REAL WORLD.
- The first word spoken on the moon was "okay". (Or not - see comments).
- Seoul, the South Korean capital, just means "the capital" in the Korean language.
- The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
- There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
- The "you are here" arrow on maps is called an ideo locator.
- The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
- The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.
- The symbol used in many URLs (Web addresses) is called a tilde. (~)
- The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
- In English, "four" is the only digit that has the same number of letters as its value.
- Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
- The word "trivia" comes from the Latin "trivium" which is the place where three roads meet, a public square. People would gather and talk about all sorts of matters, most of which were trivial.
- TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters only one row of the keyboard.
- "Speak of the Devil" is short for "Speak of the Devil and he shall come". It was believed that if you spoke about the Devil it would attract his attention. That's why when you're talking about someone and they show up people say "Speak of the Devil".
- The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means, "the King is dead".
- Only three words have entered English from Czech: polka, pilsner, and robot.
- The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.
- Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
- The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
- The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary is:- pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
- The only other word with the same amount of letters as it is its plural:- pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses.
- The longest non-medical word in the English language is FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION, which means "the act of estimating as worthless".
- The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
- The longest place-name still in use is:-'Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturi
pukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwe-nuakit natahu' it is the Maori name of a hill in New Zealand.
- The longest place name in the UK is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, it means The name means: "St Mary's church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool and the church of St Tysilio of the red cave".
- The longest word in the Old Testament is "Malhershalahashbaz".
- Mafia in Old Arabic means 'sanctuary'.
- A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
- Karaoke means 'empty orchestra' in Japanese.
- The first message tapped by Samuel Morse over his invention the telegraph was: "What hath God wraught?"
- The first words spoken by over Alexander Bell over the telephone were: "Watson, please come here. I want you.
- The first words spoken by Thomas Edison over the phonograph were: "Mary had a little lamb."
- "Papaphobia" is the fear of Popes.
- The Academy Award statue is named after a librarian's uncle. One day Margaret Herrick, librarian for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, made a remark that the statue looked like her Uncle Oscar, and the name stuck.
- The three words in the English language with the letters "uu" are: vacuum, residuum and continuum.
- "Underground" is the only word in English that begins and ends with the letters "und."
- A baby in Florida was named: Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestdestiny. His middle name is George James.
- 'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.
- The word 'Bye' is used in both English and Spanish meaning the same thing.
- "Pogonophobia" is the fear of beards.
- In Chinese, the words crisis and opportunity are the same. (Or not - see comments)
- The infinity character on the keyboard is called a "lemniscate".
- The salutation 'good bye' came from God bye which came from God be with you.
- So-long came from the Arabic salaam and the Hebrew shalom.
- The word 'nerd' was first coined by Dr. Seuss in 'If I ran the Zoo'.
- Before Jets, Jet lag was called Boat lag.
- The word "monosyllable" actually has five syllables in it.
- There are no words in the English language that rhyme with month, silver, purple or orange.
- The letter "n" ends all Japanese words not ending in a vowel.
- It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.
- 'Zorro' means 'fox' in Spanish.
- The verb "to cleave" has definitions which are antonyms of each other: to adhere and to separate.
- The verb "sanction" also has definitions which are antonyms: to sponsor and to ban.
- You won't find a "6" in Cameroon phone numbers--the native language has no sound for "x.
- "The only 15-letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable."
- There is a seven-letter word in English that contains eleven words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, I, therein, herein.
- Rhythm" and "syzygy" are the longest English words without vowels.
- Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them would burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."
Hmmm - I wonder what to get sacked refers to?